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Barbara DiLisio

Mar 25 '14

Surrendering

It’s been a minute. 

I didn’t forget about this little space of mine, I’ve just had less of a desire to do anything with it. A lot has happened in these past 6 months. Big, life changing events. Things that deserved my writing. It’s just been hard to find the words.

First was the end of a 5.5 year relationship with the person I thought was the one. Whatever that means. He didn’t love me anymore. We broke up in night he came home at 2am without calling to let me know where he was. I loved him, still do. But there’s no working it out with someone who doesn’t have their heart in it anymore. I gathered what little stuff I had and moved in to my sisters house the next afternoon. I miss the dogs the most.

I used my savings (and credit cards) to start over in my own place. I’ve been here since November. It’s the first time in my life I’ve ever lived alone. At first it was weird and a little scary, but I’ve gotten used to the freedom. 

I took a chance and signed up for online dating. That’s when I met him, what I jokingly call “the male version of me”. Web designers. No kids, and doesn’t want them. Recently out of a 10 year marriage. Living alone for the first time in his life. We get each other.

He makes me happier than I’ve been in years. We laugh and remind each other not to take life too seriously. He was there with whiskey and pizza when I got laid off from my job and supported me when I started working for myself. I have no idea what’s going to happen in the next year, month, or even tomorrow, but I do know that when I’m with him I’m happy. 

I’ve taken more chances in these past 6 months then I think I ever have in my life. The biggest thing I’ve learned to do is surrender. Giving up control is not easy for me, but I’m not going to make anything happen if I just sit and dream about it.

Some days are easy. Some days I’m scared as hell. But everyday I’m thankful for what I have. 

Dec 30 '13

Some moments from last year. I’ll try to take more/better pictures in the new year.

Dec 25 '13

Just a typical drive with my sister.

Dec 22 '13
Glad I got to see this little guy today.

Glad I got to see this little guy today.

Sep 22 '13
Happy first day of fall guys! #hot #florida

Happy first day of fall guys! #hot #florida

Tags: hot florida